Gray Candle
To cool down fights, silence gossip, and ask for discretion under the peace of Oxalá (Obatala) and the souls
Gray Candle
7-day candle · stays lit for 7 days7 dias
Few people enter the shop asking for a gray candle, and those who do usually have a very clear reason: a fight that does not end, a work environment taken over by intrigue, a family that only knows how to talk by shouting. The gray candle is used in Umbanda and in home prayer precisely for this. It does not heat up nor does it cut. It cools down, and lets the silence return where there was too much noise.
It is worth saying honestly: gray is not a specific color of an orixá (orisha) in most terreiros, and each house explains the candle in its own way. The most common reading is that of the mixture, the white of Oxalá with the black that collects what weighs. Therefore, many houses place it under the peace of Oxalá, on Friday, and others light it on Monday for the souls and the Pretos Velhos, who know how to calm a hot spirit with a gentle word.
At home, it works best lit right after the conflict, when everyone has already gone to their own corner. It is not for winning a discussion nor for silencing someone who is right. Its role is neutral: to take the fire out of the conversation so that each person can think before the next word.
What is it for
What the Gray Candle Is Used For
Gray is born from white mixed with black and therefore it is the candle of the middle ground. It stays under the peace of Oxalá and the patience of the Pretos Velhos, and it is lit to cool down discussions, silence gossip, ask for discretion, and lower the temperature of an agitated house.
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Cooling down a fight that never ends
When the same argument returns every day in the family or the couple, light the gray candle in the late afternoon and ask that the conversation loses its heat. It does not decide who is right.
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Passing unnoticed by those who interfere
For phases in which you need to work quietly, away from envious eyes and malicious comments. Gray is the color of discretion, of not drawing attention to oneself.
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Silencing gossip at work
If the environment has turned into a ground for intrigue, light it thinking of yourself: that your tongue stays quiet and that what they say about you loses strength over time.
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Lowering the temperature of the house
After a week of nerves on edge, the gray candle with a glass of water nearby helps to settle the environment before a more serious conversation between the residents.
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Thinking before responding
For those who explode easily and regret it later. Light it before a difficult meeting and pray asking for the calm of one who listens first and speaks later.
Who rules this candle
Orixás and spirits of the Gray Candle
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Oxalá
The father who pacifies, lord of Friday
Gray keeps the white of Oxalá beneath the dark. When the prayer request is to end the war inside the house, many houses consecrate the gray candle to him, because the peace that ends a fight comes from his axé.
Know Oxalá
Also settled for
- Pretos Velhos
- Linha das Almas
Prayer to light
Gray candle prayer to Oxalá to cool discord
“Pai Oxalá, I light this gray candle in the place where there was shouting. May this small flame pull toward itself the heat of the words spoken with anger, mine and those of others. I do not ask for anyone to lose, I ask for everyone to calm down. Teach those who speak without thinking to measure their words, starting with me. My Pretos Velhos, who know patience, sit near me and teach me to wait for the right moment to speak. May what was said about me behind my back cool and fade like ash. May this house have gentle conversation again. Epa Babá!”Light the candle and pray
Step by step
How to set the Gray Candle
- 1
Wait for the dust to settle
Do not light it in the middle of the shouting. Wait for the discussion to end and everyone to move away. The gray candle works better when you can already take a deep breath again.
- 2
Choose a neutral corner
A spot in the house that belongs to everyone, like the living room or the table where the family gathers. Avoid the room of the person who fought: the prayer request is for the entire house, not against someone.
- 3
Prepare the water with salt
Place the cup with water and coarse salt next to the saucer. It collects what the flame removes from the environment. If you have boldo, leave two leaves under the saucer.
- 4
Light it and speak of peace
Light with a match, say that the candle goes to Oxalá and say the prayer. Then speak of the conflict without accusing anyone by name, asking for calm for all sides.
- 5
Finish without blowing
Let it burn until the end and smother it with a saucer if you need to leave. The water with salt goes down the drain or to the earth. The leftover wax, wrapped in paper, goes to the common trash.
Precautions before lighting
- A lit candle stays away from curtains, paper, and out of reach of children and pets. Use a ceramic saucer on a firm surface and do not leave the house with it lit.
- The gray candle is to calm, not to silence someone by force or to bind anyone's will. A prayer request made against another person falls outside of its function.
- A fight involving aggression or threats is not resolved only with a candle. In these cases, seek help from those who can protect you, including the police.
- Conflict that has already turned into a spiritual demanda requires guidance from the zelador of your terreiro. The candle at home accompanies, but does not replace the foundation of the house.
Ceromancy
What the flame of the Gray Candle shows
Traditional terreiro reading. Before interpreting, check if there is no wind, crooked wick, or poor quality candle.
- Good sign
Low, quiet, and constant flame
It is the expected burning of a cooling candle. Many houses read the gentle flame as a sign that the environment is accepting the calm.
- Good sign
Flame that gradually diminishes and firms up
It started agitated and calmed down with time. It is usually read as the house's spirit lowering along with the fire.
- Attention
High flame that crackles and releases sparks
Shows that there is still much heat stored in the conflict. Do not insist on the conversation now. Repeat the candle another day, when the house is calmer.
- Attention
A lot of wax tears running down
Some houses read it as accumulated resentment that still needs to come out. It is worth praying for those involved and, if the fight persists, seeking advice in a terreiro.
- Observe
Candle that goes out at the beginning
Check for an open window, fan, and crooked wick before any reading. If everything is correct, light it again calmly and redo the prayer.
Ritual bath and smoke cleansing (defumação)
Herbs that combine with the Gray Candle
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boldo
Peumus boldus
Oxalá leaf that calms the head. Two leaves under the saucer or a ritual bath of boldo before lighting help not to carry the anger into the prayer.
See the herb -
Lavender (alfazema)
Lavandula angustifolia
Fragrant and soothing. A sprig of lavender (alfazema) next to the saucer or sprayed in the room makes the environment softer after an argument.
See the herb -
lemon balm / Capim-Cidreira
Melissa officinalis
A lemon balm (erva-cidreira) tea taken while the candle burns is a simple way to accompany the prayer request for calm with your own body.
See the herb
Virtual Candle
Light the Gray Candle now
Choose the type, write your request, and pay by PIX. The flame stays on the altar and you follow along through the link.
Place on the altarFrequently asked questions
Questions about the Gray Candle
Which orixá is the gray candle for?
In most houses, gray is not a specific color of an orixá. Since it is born from white with black, many Umbanda houses consecrate the gray candle to Oxalá for requests of peace, and others offer it to the souls and to the Pretos Velhos. Follow the custom of your terreiro.
What is the best day to light the gray candle?
Friday, if the candle is for Oxalá. Those who dedicate it to the souls and to the Pretos Velhos prefer Monday. More than the day, the moment matters: after the discussion has ended and the house is already quieter.
What is the difference between the gray candle and the white candle?
The white one asks for peace in a broad way, and serves to give thanks, to set the Guardian Angel, and to clear the environment. The gray one has a narrower use: to cool down a conflict that is heated, to silence gossip, and to ask for discretion. If there is no fight, the white one is usually enough.
Can I blow out the gray candle and light it later?
You can, as long as you do not blow on it. Smother the flame with a saucer or a spoon when you need to leave and light it again when you return, repeating the prayer. Ideally, it should burn until the end on the same day.
Can I light the gray candle in an apartment?
You can. Choose a common room, such as the living room, away from curtains and drafts, and use ceramic saucers over a firm surface. In a small space, a taper candle is safer than a 7 day candle.
Is the gray candle used to make someone shut up?
Not the way many people imagine. It does not take away anyone's voice. The right prayer request is that the gossip loses its strength and that you yourself know how to stay quiet at the right time. Using the candle against another person's will goes against its purpose.
What to do with the water and the leftover gray candle?
The salt water goes down the drain or into the earth outside the house, and the cup is washed immediately. The leftover wax is wrapped in paper for the common trash. Do not reuse this water or keep the rest of the candle on the altar.
